I am both anxious and not. I have known my date for many years; our lives, having diverged for so long now, seem to be realigning, coming together.

I’ve made an effort. During the day I planned my outfit, sending little hints and teasers of my plans so he knew I was thinking of him and looking forward to our time. His appreciative responses tell me he is as eager as I am.

Time has never been our friend, but when it graces us with its presence, we make sure to make the most of it, and each other. Tonight is no exception.

He is a little late joining me. I pace a little, nervous, excited butterflies building in my stomach and stirring up sensations elsewhere. I am sure I have forgotten something. Headset charged and on, check. Oh yes, a drink.

I finish pouring and look up to see his request to join, my breath catches and my heart skips; I can’t press ‘accept’ quickly enough. And there he is, a little more beardy than last time, but that brings a gentle gruffness to his firm body full of strong lines. Delightful.

We catch up on our weeks’ achievements, basking in the readily given praise. We are both grinning like absolute fools, when I venture how happy I am to see him. He didn’t need to see it to know I was blushing. My hand over my mouth, I look away suddenly shy, feeling a part of me laid bare. There is an honesty to video dating… it almost feels like a bigger investment than a regular date—you both really want to be there and are actively making it work. When I stop and think of this it makes my heart feel full. He tells me feels the same, I am ready to burst.

We had decided to watch a film together and manage to get our streams perfectly synced. It is nice having another focus; video calls, anyway, can be quite intense. On a regular date there is usually other stuff to think about, food, passers-by, music; you choose how lost you want to get in the other person’s eyes. That doesn’t translate to video for me. His intense gaze burns trails across my skin and I have to look away; the film provides an excuse, a distraction, helping us pace ourselves, tempering our passion.

Gradually the film fades into the background. I no longer know where we are in the story and look up to try to gauge where we are.

 ‘Look at me.’

Fuck.

So hot.

Sometimes I forget the D/s edge to our relationship; he enjoys reminding me. I enjoy the fleeting remembered images of him, seen over my shoulder, as he takes me hard from behind, a finger or two hooked in my cheek, gently yet firmly holding me exactly where he wants me. Exactly where I want to be, where I’m meant to be.

Me face burns again, a pure flush of desire this time.

‘I so wish you were here.’

Who said that? Maybe us both. It doesn’t matter. The wifi sex toy, we have been messing with, is discarded. I enjoyed the vibrations he sent me as much as he enjoyed watching me writhe with pleasure at his whim. But we needed more.

His camera shifts and I see the full length of him. Something tightens inside and a moan, as much desire as appreciation, slips out. He is beautiful and has found the perfect camera angle.

I suddenly have in my hand another toy, the one that will take me over the edge. I turn it on and up. For a brief moment I am aware of reality again. It is noisy; will the neighbours know that I am semi dressed, wet and ready in my living room. He moans and a ripple of pleasure brings me back to him.

What had been a languid pace had picked up, his stroking now hard, fast and firm. Every pump of his fist causes a wave of pleasure to ripple between my shoulder blades, almost as if in memory of other times.

I am conflicted. I want to close my eyes as I feel my desire building ever higher, to ride each wave of my longing as it shimmers up my skin from my wet darkness. But I don’t want to look away from his now insistent, almost fierce, motion. Watching the head of him remerge time and time again, harder and faster. Harder and faster.

Oh god.

Ohhhh G—

I explode, as all those ripples and waves coalesce and crash into my body at once! All my senses seem to have been shut off and I am just the wave as it rushes up through me, threatening to throw itself, me, off the world.

My hearing returns and forces my sight back as I hear him reach the crest of his wave as I am still riding mine. He cums as hard as I do, and I watch it with aching envy, pooling enticingly on his chest and stomach.

~

Eventually my seas calm. I can feel the tide receding as it laps gently lower and lower on my spine, that tingle, like the soft brush of feathers down one’s back. All my senses return, but my breathing is still shaky. I feel a little shy again and look up to notice the end credits of the film are starting. I regain control of my breathing and return my gaze to his.

Mine.

We say goodnight. He blows me a kiss goodbye; my body still tingles and my heart aches deliciously. I already miss him.